The weeks leading up to my youngest son’s birth, I was filled with panic about how my toddler was going to handle the new little person entering our lives. The pregnancy hormones, which raged throughout my body, kept me weepy until the moment I held Duncan in my arms.
I cried about if I was being unfair to my oldest son, if he would hate us, if he was going to hate his baby brother, and the list went on an on. I couldn’t keep myself together. Every time I looked at him, I started to cry. Not just standard tears, but crocodile tears which gathered in pools around me everywhere I went. I was fearful of how he was going to react, because until April 3rd, it had always been just the three of us.
My parents watched over my son while we were at the hospital with the new baby. I was so eager to see him and give him a little kiss and hug. Unfortunately, children under the age of 12 were not allowed on the Labor and Delivery floor of the hospital, due to the increased occurrence of flu within North Carolina. With this said, my mom called us via FaceTime, so we could talk with our baby boy.
His reaction to seeing me hold his little brother over my mother’s iPhone 7 screen, left much to be desired. He ignored us and he had zero interest in looking at his little brother. The moments we had shared over the smartphone, were the moments I feared the most. He hated us, I just knew it!
When we finally made it home and settled back in, I was eager to pick up my oldest from school. I wanted to first, get a hug and kiss from my little nugget and second, I wanted him to meet his baby brother (she said with some hesitation).
The five-minute car ride home consisted of a lot of conversations about baby brother and how he was a big brother, but still our baby boy. There were a lot of “okay” and “baby?” coming from the backset of the car.
When we walked into the house, he ran over to my husband and gave him a big hug, but he soon saw the rocking cradle in the living room. My heart briefly paused as he stopped in his tracks and said “baby?”
He squealed in delight when he saw his baby brother. At that moment I breathed a sigh of relief. He wanted to take it upon himself to pick up the baby and hold him. He kept repeating “Hi! Baby!” over and over again. When my family came over and visited the following day, he didn’t want anyone to touch the baby and kept saying “Mine baby!” to everyone who approached his baby brother.
For the past week, each morning he runs to see his baby brother and give him a kiss. When he gets in the car on the way home from school, he asks about his brother throwing his hands up saying, “where’s baby?” When it comes to the end of the day, he goes to his brother and says “Night, night baby! Love you!” Y’all, these are the moments that make a mother’s heart full.
I now feel silly that I was so worried about my boys coming together. I look at the two of them together and envision all of the wonderful times they will have growing up as best friends. I made these two amazing people and I believe they will always have each others backs. I’m a proud boy mom!