5 Lies I’ve Told My Toddler

As my son rapidly progresses through the “terrible twos,” I now understand why my parents told the occasional white lie. It wasn’t because they wanted to give themselves a break, but that they wanted to spare us both (the parent and toddler) from the frustration of all the emotions raging through their child’s tiny body.

My son, for the most part, is a happy-go-lucky kid, but sometimes that unhinged two-year-old makes his appearance. In a matter of seconds, he is a puddle of anger and sadness inconsolably running around the house reeking havoc.

In order to tame the miniature hulk bursting from my son’s body, I’ve had to tell the occasional fib. Here are 5 lies I’ve had to tell my toddler to calm his nerves and give myself a moment to breathe.

  1. I didn’t turn Netflix off. Netflix asked to take a nap. He’s exhausted! As we are getting ready for bed and all he wants to do is continue that one episode of Trollhunters. You know, that one episode we’ve watched over 30 times in the last three weeks. Sometimes you do what you have to do to in order to keep your sanity and get your kid to bed because he boycotted naptime at school.


  1. Give mommy one-minute; just one. Mommy really needs like 10 minutes, but you don’t know that. You don’t understand the concept of time, right?


  1. The dogs put Anton in the washing machine. They thought it was time for him to take a bath. So blame them, not me! He takes his stuffed alligator (Anton) all over God’s green earth, which means that gator is covered in anything and everything. I’m thinking of my child’s health.


  1. Oh man! We ran out of cheese puffs. Sorry buddy. As I make this statement, I stare at the three bags of organic puffs I bought at the store the other day. I really just don’t want to vacuum the couch today. Also, you need eat some fruit. Please take this apple.


  1. I have no idea where that book that is. I think it went on vacation. Perhaps to the beach! Moms and dads you know what I’m talking about! I love Peppa Pig, but Easter has passed and we are still reading the “Peppa Pig Easter Egg Hunt” book. Let’s expand our minds and read a new book, please!

What white lies do you tell your kids? Be open and honest. There is no judgement here. Trust me!

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